REALLY MARIAH?

Here's another edition of Mariah Carey being photoshopped-and-screwed!

Mariah is ready to release her fourth fragrance titled Lollipop Bling next month and has released the first promo ad from the collection. Mimi, I understand you're eternally 12 years old for the rest of your cotton candy-filled-rainbow life, but this is too far! This looks like something you would find an 8 year-old do for an arts & crafts collage. Or better yet, like this perfume is exclusively for Family Dollar.

The OMG Girlz would be so over this to promote this perfume. Miss Piggy (aka Tiny), let's get to work on this deal!

(*I still love you though Mariah - lol)

"BLACK HOLE" OR "BLACK WHORE"?

They say young people like to cause problems, but I beg to differ now that old people are the new sh** starters of the new decade.

An NAACP chapter in Los Angeles filled with old coloreds are under the impression that an audio Hallmark graduation card, who's topic is related to the solar system, is degrading Black women by saying "black whores."

#PAUSE

Clearly if you hear correctly, the card is saying "black hole" as in the solar system relation. And I wouldn't trust an older person pass the age of 65 who has hearing problems. I can just see in their eyes they wanna start sh** for the hell of it. Plus, they look like they're from the Harriett Tubman days and probably never learned about science unless it's planting watermelons. (Ok, I took it too far with that but this is just foolishness)

A spokesperson for Hallmark went on to say that the card has been around for almost three years and have not received a complaint until now (hmmmm....).

WKOF CLIP OF THE DAY: ULTIMATE DRUMMER

You know when someone is serious as sh** at what they do and they're not really a professional at that field? Look no further than this vid right here with this man who is giving all of his life and more while drumming for this band.

KHIA ON ABC NEWS

This interview is a couple of weeks old and I posted it on DOC TV at that same time, but I just couldn't bring myself to post this African Wet Monkey on WKOF...until now!

While some rappers appear on 106 & Park or MTV Jams to promote their new projects, Khia took another route. Miss Shamone made an unexpected appearance on ABC News at the wee hour of 4 in the morning. No, she didn't do no hood rat sh** to add another mugshot to the 'Gangstress' album cover, but she was there to do a good deed...promote her new single "Been A Bad Girl" and her new album 'Khia Shamone/Motor Mouf.' She also spoke on Janet Jackson and her arts & crafts glasses her chil'ren constructed.

I gotta say, shout out to her publicist for making this happen, even though it won't help her move units. This 60 year-old woman's self-esteem is so high. Gold star for you Khiran!

VIDEO: LIL B - "LOOK LIKE JESUS"

"hoes on my d**k 'cus I look like Jesus...N*ggas get mad 'cus I dress like Jesus Christ"

I blame Soulja Boy for this tomfoolery right here!

Unknown "rapper" Lil B hit up his local Words of Jericho On Top Of A Mighty Rock Seventh-Day Christian Missionary Baptist Tabernacle Church of God in Christ to shoot a video (dramatic close ups & all) for his "track" "Look Like Jesus."

I have my tithes already on deck to put on the offering table this Sunday because I just can't process this.

EVEREST COLLEGE GOES HOOD

We all know the Everest College commercial that's loved by many during the commercial break for Maury and Jerry Springer, but now the producers have moved on to another leading guy to pursue people to attend their "prestigious" institute.

FANNY MAE BURRITO IN ALL-BLACK EVERYTHING

Fantasia and all of her ghetto-beauty stunk up the stage with her stank jig at the BVI Music Festival, which was held the other day. In true Fanny Mae fashion, shoes courtesy of Olive Ole were kicked off to athlete's foot odors and had sweat juice dripping all proper like from the meat stacks on her back.

I just know her stank snatch smells like boiling hot dog water mixed with a dirty BBQ grill and a seafood feast. Someone PLEASE tell Fanny Mae that if you're gonna sweat uncontrollably on stage, do the following:

- wear Degree deodorant (the 24 hour protection and swipe the armpit region at least 20 times)

- stop wearing black nylon material

- keep your shoes on at LEAST one time

- bring a wash cloth on stage to wipe your face and some baby wipes (i'm just sayin')

ANOTHER FOOD STAMP-APPROVED REALITY SHOW ON THE WAY

The most hood rat-certified family of all time on television will make a resurgence on your 13-inch black and white screen (or World Star Hip Hop). That's right folks, break out the paper plates, red cups and the 99cent Tony's frozen pizza because Neffe and her sperm donor of her latest seed Soullow along with her clan of chil'ren are returning to the world of reality TV. Here is how it's explained in the press release sent below:

Neffe and Soullow of the Frankie and Neffe show will be moving forward with their life as they continue to excel towards their goals and the goals of their children. They will make a public announcement via the internet letting the world know about the many things they have to come and the many things going on with their family. James DuBose of DuBose Entertainment will bring into the homes of many, a new reality show entitled “The Neffe and Soullow Family Tree” (http://www.duboseent.com). While the family has decided to move along and continue to make life better for their children Frankie will be making life better for herself separately pursuing other opportunities.

As a graphic designer, I just can't take the fact that Soullow's play cousin took this photo and tagged it with an un-inspiring type face. I will say this though, if BET picks this up but still won't play Ciara's "Ride" video, I'm personally driving to DC to deliver Debra Lee a bucket of Fantasia's sweat juice.